Scents, Cents, Sense

The house stinks. It's got smells. It's old, it's been abused. The rats had made a huge mess and we'd cleaned up that the best we could. Drainage was assbackwards and draining into the foundation. We fixed that. We've done what we could in a short amount of time. This summer, the house was doing good. I thought we'd gotten rid of the worst of it. As long as the dehumidifier runs constantly... it's ok. But then we came back from Florida after Thanksgiving... and oh, the STINK. What was it? I emptied the full dehumidifier, cleaned the cat boxes, searched high and low. Washed the floors. Searched high and low. Cleaned, air freshened, cleaned, burned highly smelly candles... still, not pleasant to say the least.

So yesterday hubby comes to me and says: "I know why the house smells."

"Why? A rat??? What is it???"

"No, not a rat. I figured it out. It's the sewer."

"What??? What is the matter with the sewer???"

"Don't worry, I can fix it. It's the vent pipes (that he's been working on since right before Thanksgiving)... They are connected to the sewer system and they need caps until I get them vented out of the house. I lit some candles, because it's extra bad today for some reason, but don't light them in the TV room, because, well, the vent pipe is venting to the TV room and because sewer fumes are gas and you don't want to blow the house up or anything. I just need to run to Home Depot and get some caps - they only cost a few cents."

'Well, go already, hu?"

(See, TV room, open to Powder Room:)